There are days when I feel I do not want to get out of the bed to start the process all over again. Those days when I pretend I am dead under my covers ignoring everyone’s request. MOM, I WANT TO GO DOWNSTAIRS. MOM, I HAVE TO GO PEE. MOM, DID YOU CHARGE MY IPAD? MOM, DO I HAVE SCHOOL TODAY? MOM, AMELIA IS AWAKE. MOM, I WANT PANCAKES FOR DINNER.
I spend my days in the kitchen. Breakfast, breakfast snack, lunch, lunch snack, after nap snack, dinner, before bed snack and all of which are barely touched or eaten by the dogs. I find banana peels in the bathroom because it’s something they want before they brush their teeth.
I find myself arguing with my five year old about the proper spelling of his name. “E V R E T T. That is how it sounds mom. I don’t want there to be another E.” OMG! He also likes to connect the two T’s which makes it look like an H. I am sure I am failing the reading and writing part of growing up at this point. Especially because when I am having this argument, Eleanor is off climbing into the bathroom cabinet to get my makeup, or spraying the kitchen faucet all over the kitchen floor or waiting too long to pee in her toilet.. While this is happening, Amelia is either at my feet wanting milk or in the corner dumping the dogs water bowl all over. She also can be found on top of the powder room sink running the water, on top of our desk or on top of Charlie.
Days when you feel like you cannot catch your breath or have a freakin thought in your head and you’re completely overwhelmed. Nights where you sit and cry and look back through pictures terrified you aren’t remembering enough, you aren’t taking it all in. Nights when you reflect on the day wishing you hadn’t yelled in that moment and pray tomorrow you’ll find more patience and time for yourself. Remembering the triggers that get you frazzled and work ways into the day to eliminate them. Is that waking up early for some Sun Salutations? Prayer? Writing? Maybe it’s watching a little netflix and folding the laundry while the kids play with the playdough unsupervised. Or my personal favorite, nighttime shower.
I love these little buggers and I do not take for granted their beautiful purpose on earth and in our family. We are totally blessed and I know life is messy. A beautiful mess. Sometimes, I think it might be helpful for others to know that our life is NOT perfect and nor do I pretend it is.